Our house – in the middle of the street

I’ve never lived with a boyfriend before.

When I was engaged and got the apartment my fiance and I were planning to live in post-wedding, technically it was “mine” for the time being. But he was over there all the time, always sleeping over always just OHMYGODINMYFACE because he wanted us to spend meaningful and valuable time together. It drove me crazy. I need my own space, I realized – and that 1 bedroom apartment, which was all we could afford, just wouldn’t cut it.

For a variety of reasons, we didn’t get married.

I didn’t even do so hot with roommates in college. My junior year I lived with 3 other girls in a 4 bedroom house, which sounds nice enough because we each have our own private space. But my GAWD, the estrogen. The bickering. The you-should-come-do-yoga-with-us squeal which, when ignored, made me a social pariah.

I dropped out of college that semester.

I like having my own space to putter about aimlessly, to put things where I want them, to read a book and watch whatever I want on TV. I want to decompress after work with a short nap. I want to let the dirty dishes pile up if I feel lazy. I want a place to be antisocial. I want to be QUIET.

That was how I spent most of my twenties, in a series of apartments (and one house), roommate-less and comfortable with my breathing space. When E and I were off-and-on serious, I did begin to imagine what it would be like living with him – mingling our living preferences and trying to coexist on an everyday basis.

I tried. I failed. Even in my overactive imagination, it didn’t work. Like so very many things about us as a couple, it was just another irreconcilable difference.

We broke up for the third and last time, and three days later I had a date with Dan.

I can’t remember a time I ever wanted to be around someone so much. I’m serious. I can’t. After 2 weeks of dating, we stopped sleeping alone. It didn’t matter if it was date night. It didn’t matter if it wasn’t till 9 or 10 pm. We were at my apartment or his house, never apart at bedtime.

But he has a dog that needs to be let out and in, and his house was 20 minutes from my apartment. The back-and-forth was a total pain in the ass, so we did the only thing that made sense:

We packed my stuff and I put the apartment on Craigslist in early February.

I have my own computer room here, and Dan has given me the run of re-organizing the kitchen. I have license to rid the common areas of the dumb bachelor-type things like the foosball table in the dining room. Our things are all coming together, mingling furniture and utensils and linens and DVDs. There have been compromises – paint colors and things going up on the walls. We’ve cobbled together a who-pays-for-what plan to try and keep our finances separate but equal.

We agreed the other day that it’s “our house” now. And he told the crazytail dog that I’m her mama.

It’s always nice waking up next to your man, but I never knew it would feel so good just to come home to him every day.

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10 Comments

Jenn March 22, 2011 at 10:55 am

Weeee I’m so excited for you! And you need to blog more or e-mail me more or call me more so I can keep up with everything!

(I suppose I could do those things too, huh? Oops.)

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The Blonde Reply:
March 22nd, 2011 at 11:32 am
I’m trying! My goal is to stop waiting till I think I have something profound to say and just go ahead and post SOMETHING at least twice a week.

And P.S., I totally want to come visit you this summer.

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Wynn March 22, 2011 at 2:13 pm

Yay! I’m glad that you feel comfortable with it. When living alone, the thought of sharing all spaces and crap just seems wrong, but it’s totally cosy if it’s with the right person. And sure, I’d like a place that I could decorate just as I would like to (picture dark purple with dragons and metal band flags that at this point is banished to the cellar because “it looks trashy”) but hey, I’ll just work my magic on a much bigger place and bf’s in on it. Mostly. In those cases, I just decide stuff. Mehehe. Mehe.

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The Blonde Reply:
March 22nd, 2011 at 2:46 pm
Your dragons and metal band flags can go in the basement guest space with the spinning light-up beer signs! And the deer head!

And I tried, but he vetoed dark purple for the bathroom

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Wynn March 22, 2011 at 3:46 pm

But dark purple is so pretty!! You should paint a tree on it in metallic paint, that’ll pimp it for reals.

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The Blonde Reply:
March 22nd, 2011 at 4:05 pm
Maybe he’ll let me do the basement bathroom like that! I love plummy colors.

We ended up doing the main one in gray and lime (with white tile and cabinets) and it actually looks pretty awesome.

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Erini March 23, 2011 at 10:25 pm

!!! I mean, I knew by the time I read this.. but !!!

CanNOT wait to come and visit! You two are adorable and I love ya!

Also: I’m totally the same way with living arrangements. I need space. I’ve had some great roommates, but in all living situations I need my own little cave to feel secure — a nest.

anyway… I will see you one week from tomorrow!!!! OMGYAY!

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The Blonde Reply:
March 24th, 2011 at 10:20 am
You can crash in the cave that is our basement guest space anytime! With double-everything, you get a bed, dresser, couch, TV… plus kitchenette and bath. And about a metric ton of unpacked boxes

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Erini Reply:
March 24th, 2011 at 10:30 am
Yay!! Unpacked boxes! I will construct them into a fort for your kitteh and me.

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Dream in Grey March 25, 2011 at 6:07 am

ohmygoodnessohmygoodnessohmygoodness

that is brilliant and fabbity and everything!

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